Okay, it's offical. All women are fucktards.

So it's turns out the girl who's boyfriend was beating her up, he wasn't beating her up.

Of course, i only found this out after we were together and it totally blew up. In my face.

So we spent, Thursday, Friday and Saturday together and she stayed over all of those nights. We were smitten. Everything was going great. She told me she loved me. I was the hero, the knight in shining armour. And for once i thought i'd found a girl who loved me for me. She helped around the house, she was kind, caring. Loved hugs in bed and on the sofa watching a film. It was great!

Then i got that old instictual gut feeling on the sunday when i was taking her home. I tried to shrug it off, but like an itch you can't scratch, i couldn't ignore it. She could tell something was up, since we'd been honest with each other so far, i told her my gut was telling me something was up between us. She told me there was nothing up and we were staying together.

Turns out her ex came over and they slept with each other. Of course, this isn't what she told me the next morning. No. I got told it by him. Only to be later confirmed by her.

Well thats the first time i've ever been cheated on in my life. So i felt pretty poor when i learned the truth. She'd been lying to me and him. So we confronted her. She, of course, walked away. He kept shouting whore at her, and everytime he did i pushed him and told him not to call her that. I just wanted to know the truth.

Then she said she wanted to talk to him. So he went up, i figured i would be next. I wasn't. I waited half an hour in the pissing rain. I called him and he put her on the phone after telling me to meet him in McDonalds for a chat in 15mins.

She came on... my heart sank. She said i was a mistake and that she loved him. Good weekend, but i was a mistake...

A mistake...

So i felt bad already anyway with the lying. Now i felt worthless. The way she made me feel, was it all just a lie?

Was everything over the course of the weekend just one big lie? I don't know what to feel. But now it leaves me in a moral dilemma. If someone like that can fool me and my family and make me fall for her, but then throw it all back in my face, cheat on me, lie to me, and call me a mistake... How can i trust that anyone i meet is ever telling me the truth? Or being themselves for that matter?

I seem to be a magnet for girls with mental problems or commitment issues. So inevitably i have nothing left to lose. I lost my friend and the girl who fooled me into thinking she was perfect for me.

I mean honestly... How in the hell do i get myself in these situations?! It's beyond me. But i'm resilient! I think? I don't know what to think anymore. I'm just sick of getting hurt. I stick my neck out to save someone, be the hero, only to my face kicked by the person i'm trying to save.

IT'S INSANE! TOTALLY INSANE! Well, the emotional armour is back on. IF a girl likes me, then she has to work to get it off, only with time will i let her in and trust the future ones.

I thought i was being the knight in shining armour. Saving her and being the big hero. I never expected anything from her in return.

Things never turn out the way you want them to. But hopefully, one day, i'll find the one.