Alright, i admit. It's been a funny week. Well... few weeks.

I mean, come on. It's not often all this sort of thing happens. Feels like i'm banging my head against a brick wall sometimes. I'm still questioning things about what happened. With everything.

Questioning myself and my own judgments. And i don't second guess myself, not normally. I make a decision and i follow it through. But i've never felt so bad for doing the right thing.

Well, what i thought was the right thing. I suppose i'm questioning my own beliefs.

Is it true? Is chivalry dead among men? Is it a question of right and wrong? Does doing the right thing and protecting those who can't protect themselves, even matter anymore?

I'd like to think myself chivalrous, courageous and someone who stands up for what he believes in. Honour, loyalty, chivalry, respect. These things matter to me. When i don't see them in other people, other men, i don't understand why.

Us, as men, are supposed to fight for what we believe in. Protect those we love and love those we protect. If i truly love someone, i would go down fighting if their life was at stake. Even against insurmountable odds, i'd do my best.

But i feel that no one wants that anymore. No one wants a hero. No one wants a knight in shining Armour. Which leaves me at an impasse. Do i hang up the gloves of the hero and throw down the sword?

...Or do i go it on my own, taking the world as it comes? In a world where the lines between right and wrong are so blurred, where do we really stand?

I know where i'd like to think i stand. I think it's also how people view me as well. I've never set out to intentionally hurt anyone. I don't do things out of malice. My heart's in the right place... But am i?

So back to the question, the impasse. Do i hang up the gloves and throw down the sword? Or do i struggle on, and keep being the hero?