Well i have to admit, i've been getting some kind words of encouragement on here and some 'GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER!'s from the people i see in the real world. I've realised, and it's also finally sunk in, that i was just doing the right thing in my eyes.

I can't blame myself for being lied to. The situation had presented itself to me as a woman in need, and i did what i felt it was my duty to do. Could have been any woman and i still would have felt like it was my responsibiliy to help. That is just built in.

I swear sometimes, i was born a few hundred years too late. My morals and thoughts on the way men should be to women seem to be long dead to most. But not to me, they are my morals and i stand by them.

Who would i be throwing down the sword for anyway? So my services and my heart were used against me, i cannot let it break me. Besides, who's going to save anyone when the whole world goes to shit? There'll be one less guy like me, that's for sure, if i gave up.

But it's a new day and i'm remaining positive. I suppose i was being reflective and despondent. But the situations i had been through this weekend, i had not endured before. Including the infidelity.

Still, i know i just got a job, but i work in between both of their shops that they work in. Talk about awkward. So i'm looking at other jobs and things. Possibly a ski resort job. Gets me out and about and i don't have to worry about spending money.

Well at least it's decided. I won't stop being the person i am. Throwing down the sword was a bad idea. Somewhere out there is a place for me. I just keep going until i find it.

And i will. One day.